16 October 2011

I suppose I should introduce myself...

Hi there. I'm Joe. This is my blog. Now that I've successfully hidden my identity as Captain Obvious I can-



Okay, so now that the hard part is out of the way, let's get down to brass tacks (why is that even a saying? Who gets down to brass tacks? Wouldn't that hurt?).

I'm from Texas, but not "Movie Texas".
     -see http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GreaterHouston

I can ride a horse, but I don't own one, and haven't been within fifty yards of one in well over a decade. I have to drive half an hour to see any "pasture".

I've never been considered a "cowboy" by anyone (though my mom liked to dress me like one when I was a kid). I absolutely loathe tight fitting jeans, and I hate long sleeved shirts because they cover up my tattoos. Also because it's almost never ever ever cold enough for them in real life here. We have two seasons here: Summer, and Not Summer (which is late December through mid February, when we still wear shorts).

I don't chew tobacco, though I used to (a terrible habit I picked up in the Army), and my preferred brand when I did wasn't Skoal or Copenhagen.

I don't drive a truck. I've never even owned a truck (though I should, because they're useful). I drive a Saturn Ion currently, and am thinking that my next vehicle will probably be a Kia SUV of some kind.

I don't speak with a thick southern accent. Think Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory's Dr. Sheldon Cooper) only less nasally.

I don't grill much, but I do love to cook. I do most of the cooking in my house, since I'm super territorial about my kitchen.

I don't go to a church of any kind. I was raised Southern Baptist, and that pretty much ruined any kind of organized religion for me forever. I do believe in some sort of supreme being, but I can't put a name to it. God, Mother Nature, the Force (yes, like Star Wars), the Flying Spaghetti Monster...I don't know, but there's someone looking out for me.

I went into the Army to travel and see the world, while getting free training. Good deal, I think. I'm patriotic, but it's a result of my time in the Army, not a result of my birthplace. I support our troops wholeheartedly and I always will, even if I don't agree with the orders they're given.

I think that everybody has the right to be happy, regardless of their sexual preference. People who disagree are close-minded cockmongers. And not in a good way.

So, yeah.


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