So, the flooded car from yesterday? Yeah. It wasn't there when I went back for it. I called Houston PD, who said that they didn't tow it. I called the Clear Lake (my area) office of HPD, and they said they didn't tow it. I called the Precinct 8 Constable's office (which was right across the street from where I was parked), and they said that they didn't tow it. I called wrecker services, impound lots, and everybody else I could think of to make sure that I didn't file a false police report and waste the valuable time of HPD's officers.
A really nice HPD officer came out and made the report, gave us a case number, and we were on our way home. Got home, started cooking dinner. Was in the middle of cooking up some bacon for "Breakfast for dinner" when a knock came at my door. I answered, and there stood a (super nice, very helpful) Precinct 8 Constable.
Constable: "Good evening, sir. Did you by chance file a police report on a stolen vehicle earlier tonight?"
Me: "Yes, sir, I did."
C: "Okay. Good. Let me be the first to apologize. We did tow your vehicle, because it was parked in a "moving lane", but someone on the day shift dropped the ball and didn't get the report entered in a timely manner, which is why HPD now has a stolen vehicle report on file for you. I'm very sorry."
He then gave me all the info I'd need to retrieve my car, it's location, and the number of the place where it was stored. He was super helpful and apologetic about stupid day shift taking 10 fucking hours to get a report entered.
So we went to the storage lot, called the guy, and waited with another HPD officer (who was also super helpful) who cleared the report out of the system and made sure we were going to get home okay. The wrecker driver let us use his jump box (self contained jumpstart) to try and get my car started, but she wouldn't. Dang. He went ahead and towed us back to the apartment, and so now I've got my car back, $300 later.
So, yeah. For getting my car stolen-but-not-really-stolen-for-a-questionable-tow, I'm actually feeling okay with how things worked out. Now I just have to worry about getting my car fixed.